Link's Story: The Remainder of the Third Age
by Stipe
Summary: For the Remainder of the Third Age of Stardom after Bowser's final keep had fallen, 21year old Link decides to leave Mushroom lands and go back to Hyrule. While visiting his friends, he finds that Hyrule has been harassed by a Demon Hunter.Link Malon
1. Leaving Mushroom Lands

M.T.Y.L. – Link's Tale throughout the Third Age of Stardom

Bowser's Final keep had just fallen. Great. La-de-fuckin'-da. I guess that puts good ol' M.T.Y.L. in the lead with winning the first age of stardom by no more than fucking luck, loosing the second because of Ash having some hot sex and not fighting and winning this one because the enemy caught us, and their plan back-fired. I'm not saying we suck at fighting. We are the greatest force in the world. But no one has seen my full strength, I promise you that. When you look at it, I've lived more than I've wanted to. My most exhilarating experience was probably the second age of stardom, saving Hyrule with the Ocarina of Time was a close second. But now this being the third age of Stardom, I've been spending too much time overseas at the Ancient Mushroom Kingdom. Yeah, not even the current day Mushroom Kingdom. The last time I was in Hyrule was during the Ninwarcraft battles. I and Illidan Stormrage (the only man that understands my thirst for magic) were leaving to finally destroy those damned Animations (animated dead). Not long after that, the first age of stardom began when after the Animations died out, Ganondorf, Bowser and Giovanni created B.B.G.G. I really love Hyrule. Hyrule loves me. Especially the denizens. I haven't got stoned with Kafki that Termanian fool for some time. Too busy making babies with his wife Anju I reckon. Hold up. That isn't even Hyrule. Now I'm remembering Termania when I saved them from the Moon falling. Hyrule... ah yes, Darunia and I have had many good drinks, and Malon's always good for a roll in the hay. God, I fucking love that farm girl. Eh- but what do I know? Three ages of Stardom are a long time. Has Malon made it through all 3? Will they remember me? These questions had been bothering me for some time anyways, so I went and traveled to New Shroom Harbor at age 21, right after Bowser's Final Keep fell. They got me a nice-ass boat and I sailed all the way to the port in back of the Hyrule Castle. Fuck Zora's Fountain. I don't want the world to come on me. Has it thawed out yet...? Anyways, I was greeted by none other than Princess Zelda herself, and after a quick embrace, she got to what mattered (to her of course).

"Is the War of B.B.G.G. over?" she asked. Humorously I said "For the Third time, yes!" We both laughed (There had been two B.B.G.G. wars before, one in each age of stardom). After resting there for the night, as it had been a tiresome journey on the ship, I set out into the Market. Before leaving I asked the Princess if Lon Lon Ranch was still around. "Of Course! Where would we be without it?" Her fake reassurance bothered me. I kissed her goodbye and left.

Being the person I was, I was instantly recognized by everyone. Everyone said hellow to me, and I felt obliged to wave back. What else could I do? Anyways, I stopped by the Happy Mask store. The store owner had aged hideously as his piercing red eyes were no longer blocked by his squinting- his muscles had all relaxed making for a disturbing visit. The Potion Store and the Bazaar had not changed- though the Bazaar's owner's hairs were graying. It seemed just Hyrule was older. But there was no reason for that. This was a new age in Nintendo. Everything was reborn 21 years ago with the exception of the Kokiri and the Sages, who nurtured everyone until they were old enough to fend for themselves. Graying hairs at age 21...? There had to have been an explanation, because everyone else seemed to be the same.

Another thing that truly bothered me about the ages- people remembered things as they grew. Eventually wouldn't you have lived so many ages, that your mind would have to just forget some of the past ages in your mind? Since these thoughts have bothered me so much, I have written down my adventures in M.T.Y.L.'s vanguard haven so that the book wouldn't vanish with each coming age.

I walked the back allies, had a drink, and then got to visiting the Temple of Time. As soon as I entered the great temple, I was hit by memories of my Ocarina adventure. Killing the hideous witch Twinrova, riding Epona over the fence in Lon Lon Ranch... Lon Lon Ranch! Too may memories there. From first learning Epona's song to gently rocking in a chair with Malon's soft delicate body in my arms before riding off to war against the Mushroom Kingdom during the Ninwarcraft age. That was the last I saw of Malon. Still more memories hit me. Killing Bongo Bongo. Nearly drowning in the water temple before being given life by the Zora Princess Ruto. Getting drunk as fuck wih Darunia. Darunia. I would then go to visit him first.


	2. The Time in Death Mountain

Death Mountain.

I made that trip to Death Mountain quite quickly. I led Epona out of the market. She was a bit feverish about being on the boat for so much time. As I rode out onto the plains I remembered another thing about the ages of stardom in Hyrule. They were slowed down greatly. Besides I now realize that the only people who were reborn at the mark were those who died. So the Mask Salesmen and the Bazaar worker only aged about 5 years. It really was fucking strange how the time passed. Real fucking strange. I then remembered asking Mario one time why the fuck it did that. Mario told me since the level of star power in the area was low, ages of stardom passed more slowly. Would that mean I would live longer? I don't give a fuck anyways. Now I realized something else. I remember Malon at her height of beauty at age 19 back 8 years after the Majora's Mask quest. It was right before the Ninwarcraft wars. She was 16 then. That means she would be 21 now. Same age as me. I still had no clue why Malon kept racing to my mind. I pondered the thought a little longer. Now I realize. I must have Malon back. I had my mind on Misty for some time, and I knew she could never be mine after she and Ash fell into one. After the death of that fucked-up pokemon trainer she would never open her heart again. I just want to fuck Ash's shit up. Fourth age for sure. Anyways, Misty can't always hold a place in my heart. Malon must take that place or else I'm sure this lifetime for me will be extremely destructive.

At that point, I almost said 'fuck it' with the trip to Death Mountain and just ride like the wind to Lon Lon Ranch where I could surely get Malon back- but I needed to talk things over with my sworn brother most of all. I rode up to the feet of Kakariko village. There I got off Epona and climbed the stairs. Kakariko wasn't considerably different- the houses had gained some wear marks, and the windmill had finally slowed down and the well water returned- but other than that, Kakariko was unchanged. As I walked through the grassy town front, I really wondered what Mario was up to. He had taught me so much and became very close to me, but at times I just wanted to tell him to fuck off. It was his training. No swearing pleases the Star Lords. Fuck that. Minimal violence to annoyances. He smacked Yoshi Frutie every time he was being a punk brat. No porno. Yet I masturbated quite often. Mario yet still could not explain then why I was so fucking strong if I was against a lot of the stuff he taught. It was a bitter-sweet love for the plumber, but I could remember more good times than bad. Another thing that I admired about Mario is that he was very honorable and never let in. He never hung his head. He was powerful yet playful and somewhat silly. He was just the feel-good experience to be around. I was on the border of the village waving off to the guard as I head off onto Death Mountain trail.

While walking up the dusty trail, Red tickettes attacked me with their jump attacks- the only way tickettes can move, I heard, is jumping. I had to quickly brandish my sword and slice through them. I never found out why Tickettes were of such harsh nature. They weren't Ganondorf's minions. I didn't want to hurt them. Who gives a fuck they're no one I know. After sticking my sword into the fleshy back of the creature it died. I mean what the fuck were they anyways? They were some kind of insect I guess, not spiders, they only had 4 legs. As I passed Dodongo's cavern, a Goron spotted me and waved. I smiled weakly and waved back. I straightened my posture as well as I realized I was slouching. After rounding a couple of bends, I reached the entrance to Goron City, which was closed. I banged on the heavy door, but there was no way they could hear me. Being how strong I am I thrusted my entire strength into my fist and knocked again. I unintentionally cracked the door in half. Many astonished Gorons started at me from behind the wreck of the great door. I blushed, apologized and said 'it's my fucking fault, sorry dudes.' Darunia came out at all the noise and was angry at first, but after seeing me, he softened and brought me into a brotherly embrace. After about 14 seconds, we released.

"Link... my sworn brother... I haven't seen you since the defeat of the Pokemon on Damned Island. One of the many Ninwarcraft battles that I wouldn't mind forgetting." I nodded in agree. I asked for lodging in the night. Darunia was honored to hear. After getting settled in a stone silo, Link, Darunia's son came to see me. I was his namesake, so I felt obliged to strike up a conversation with him. I asked him "Been to Lon Lon Ranch lately?" I almost smacked myself with such a bad question. I had to admit to myself I was addicted to Malon. Goron Link nodded his head and replied "The area has gotten friendlier ever since the wedding." My mind felt like it had been rammed by five big penises that were wider than they were long. "Fuck, fuck, fuck..." that was the only thing running through my mind. Goron Link noticed my hesitance and hastily continued, "yeah... Talon is a happier man now with that woman he met in Kakariko." The dicks released their surge as I sighed way too loudly. That gave good ol' Goron Link an idea of what just happened.

"Malon is doing fine... I can tell you would like to hear that." He said with a chuckle. "That is unless you're gay for Ingo." I gave him a playful jab. I didn't remember the lil' squirt being so cool so to speak. We spoke for awhile longer as he then mentioned that the volcano had been acting up and it was greatly bothering his dad. I then told the young Goron that I must be excused to have a long night's talk with his dad. Goron Link gave me my space and I told him we'd catch up more in the morning. He seemed to like that idea for a smile widened across his face. I head down a few levels into the chamber of the Goron leader, Darunia. When I entered, he had his head against the wall with a bottle of mountain Scotch is his hand. "Hello?" I said to make my presence noticeable. The Goron leader turned around. "Greetings Link. Please sit down and I'll pour you a drink and tell you of my tale." I sat down at his table and allowed him to pour me some powerful Goron Scotch. Darunia began his tale.

"A year ago, while you were still in Mushroom lands, Volvagia had been reborn. Over the year he's been around, two respected Gorons have been eaten. Please Link. Venture to Death Mountain Crater. He is resting on the spire in the middle of the crater of lava." I vibrated a bit in my seat. Volvagia had fiery breath, and was mighty. Still, I sat there for awhile longer. I finally asked "may I ask how Volvagia was reincarnated?" Darunia looked at me, not changing his stoic figure, and then finally answered "we were visited by a Demon Hunter who had necromancy powers. When we denied him entrance to our honorable stone lair, he became very angry. He then went to the crater and revived the evil dragon with all his might. He morphed into a demon and flew away before we could unleash Goron rage upon him." I stopped and thought about what he just said. A Demon Hunter. Surely it could not have been the honorable Illidan Stormrage from the alternate dimension. Or could it have been? He had been known to switch sides, but the thought of him doing this was unthinkable. Besides, Illidan had no necromancy powers. Demon Hunters were still extremely rare, and Illidan was the only one I knew truthfully.

I knew they were somewhat renegade and any race could become one. Just to check I asked Darunia of what race he was. Darunia answered "It was deffinatly a human with purple skin and many tattoos littering his skin." My mind raced to another point. He had just described Illidan. I asked him if he wore a blindfold and had wings. Darunia nodded his head yes to each. What the fuck? Why would Illidan do that? Still, I had wondered where he had been in the past year. He wasn't at the M.T.Y.L. headquarters and the demon hunter had lost all contact with them. And since Volvagia was brought back with necromancy, what powers could he have? Still I could not say no to my sworn brother. I answered "Consider it done by tomorrow morning." Darunia looked down at the table and asked me to stay for a while longer for he wanted to tell me something else.

"There has been a girl in these lands that dearly wants to see you." My mind rushed to the possibility of it being Malon. There I go thinking about her again. Darunia continued. "Hyrule is blessed with many beautiful women- only one eighth of them Goron. There is a girl in the Kokiri forest who has finished safeguarding the land as a sage and wishes to see you. By now I'm sure you know who I'm speaking of." "Saria?" I asked back. "Why yes. Please go visit her after doing away with Volvagia." I agreed. Before I got up to leave Darunia's room I decided to ask him the same question I asked his son. I then stopped in the middle of doing so. I just stood there, for what seemed awhile but then just left his chamber and head up the series of caves and stairways to my stone silo.

I stopped by my stone silo to change into my Goron tunic. I then left my sword there and grabbed my megaton hammer. This was necessary for fighting the dragon. A flashback hit me again. Right before entering Volvagia's resting place inside the Fire Temple, I rummaged through my inventory for an empty bottle. All I found was some opium inside a leather Goron pipe. "Better not fuck myself up too bad when I'm about to fight off for the Goron's way of life." I thought to myself. I kept looking through my tunic until I found a bottle. It wasn't empty though. It was filled. Filled with Lon Lon Milk. I undid the cork on the bottle and took a small sip of the milk. I let it sit there on my palettes as I lightly swished it around in my mouth. For a very odd reason it felt somewhat erotic. Almost as if I tasted more than just milk. Something like a powerful sexual drive- and it reminded me of Malon. After recovering from my bit of shock from remembering that sweet memory I geared up for the battle. I then left the Goron village.

I rounded the bend on Death Mountain trail and headed up the incline onto the parallel trail that led to the crater. It wasn't especially hard to travel, besides killing off a couple of Skultuals. After reaching the entrance, I sucked in my breath, and continued on. Inside the crater it was quite warm. Then I saw him. Volvagia, who was sleeping on the center spire. "In order for me to kill him..." I thought, "he needs to be awakened." I grabbed a heavy stone and lifted it up with no effort. I then threw it at Volvagia who was a good 500 feet away. Perfect hit. The dragon went reeling as it awoke with a jolt. It saw me quickly and went right for me. I started to run around the crater and even made quite a daring jump to the broken bridge, right as I felt the heat of his fire breath right behind me. It was so hot I was almost in pain but I quickly climbed up the rest of the broken bridge.

I pulled out my hammer and stood my ground. It came flying towards me, and I readied a blow to his skull. I swung a little too early, and his horns impaled me in my flank. I then went flying, way off the current platform I was on and into one of the crater walls. I nearly fell into the lava, but I grabbed a crease in the crater wall. Volvagia geared up for his final fiery blow. I fumbled for my hookshot, grabbed it, and aimed for his woody horns. I fired, latched on and jumped onto his skull. I then realized I was bleeding horribly from the horn thrust. But no time to worry about that. Having a heavy thick skull and no scalp, he couldn't feel me on his head. He looked around a little confused. I quickly grabbed my hammer and smashed his skull. Volvagia then threw his head up, sending me flying. I quickly found ground and held my place on the highest point in the crater. Meaning also it was the coolest, letting me focus on combat. Volvagia came at me again, but this time my attack was too late. Before I even swung I felt his heaving head bashing me, causing me to hack up blood and vomit all over his eyes. He blinked profusely while gaining his balance in the air. I felt like the worst shit ever at that point. I ached in every fucking part of my body- especially my stomach. I coughed and tried to catch my breath, still realizing all the blood coming through my mouth as I wet myself in sheer discombobulating.

My eyes became blurry as I heard Volvagia's dragon scream fill the air. I vaguely saw him wind up for another fierce blow. I readied my hammer and swung out of sheer luck. Whether it was the Star Lord or the Sage Rauru that helped me, his skull cracked, and Volvagia was bleeding. Volvagia's quick jaw bit me in the same place his horn rammed into, leaving me bleeding greatly. I began to scream in pain, not quite even being able to function at this point. I quickly finished him off by destroying his brains with a hammer blow. His body slipped under the lava, while I clutched my side and lay there until I passed out. I was in more pain then I had ever felt before. Even as Ganondorf injected me with black magic in the Second Age of Stardom... that mindfuck was nothing like the bleeding I was going through.

Before passing out, I remember one thing. I was there lying on the dirt ground of Death Mountain crater. It was no longer uncomfortably hot. It came down to a safe warmness. I let go a small sigh. I then saw parting clouds in the sky. Then I slipped into a pleasurable dream...


	3. Nice Dream, Short Chapter

(Nice Dream.)

I awoke. But I was no longer in Death Mountain. The fresh smell of vegetation and clean water was about the air. I opened my eyes a little further to realize I was in Lake Hylia. I got up but quickly clutched my side and kneeled down again. I was still bleeding pretty badly. Just then, someone walked up to me. I looked a little closer. It was a girl about my age with beautiful red hair flowing in the calm breeze and piercing purple eyes. Her face was pure but her arms were scattered with freckles and burns. I then realized who this was. It was Malon. "I must be dreaming" I thought. She reached and lightly tugged my tunic up around my waste and calmly tended to and bandaged my wound. She rubbed it a little and then looked me in the eyes. "It can't be a dream" I thought. The feeling was relaxed and cool. She then got on her knees and placed her hands on either side of my two shoulders. She relaxed herself on top of me and we joined in a kiss.

The world started spinning and everything went blank as I returned to another memory in my past. I was still lying on the floor looking up at the reflections on Malon's bedroom wall as we fiddled with each other and eventually joined in a naked embrace and we each lay there motionless. I started to remember another memory. The world started to spin again and I was brought to Desert Colossus where I was laying on the steps of the Spirit Temple caressing Malon in my arms.

My mind drifted to black and I could feel again. It's like I was awake but I couldn't see anything. It was all black. I then realized that my eyes were bandaged. I motioned to unravel the bandages but I felt a Goron's hands stop me. "Please, your eyes are extremely dried out Sir Link. Try and keep them closed for another 12 hours. Darunia says thank you for killing Volvagia though. You will be able to head off to wherever by tomorrow." "No big deal." I thought as I closed my eyes. I also realized my flank felt considerably better. I then realized Malon's kiss in the dream tasted like a red potion. Hmph. It's been the Gorons. A bit disappointed that my dream wasn't the truth, I dosed back to sleep and swore tomorrow I would go to the forest to see Saria first. Then Malon. Then I sware I'll see Malon and tell her how I feel.


	4. The Time in the Forest

Forest. Seducing.

I awoke from my painful rest to feel totally energized. I got up, said my thanks to the Gorons and head out on my way. I left Kakariko village and went out onto the plains of Hyrule again. I mounted Epona and started riding towards the Kokiri forest. The ride was bumpy and realized that it was considerably late in the day as the sun was already setting. I was riding through the plains when I began to remember what Darunia said about Illidan Stormrage bringing a great threat to the Gorons. I was shocked when I heard, for me and Illidan fought side by side in many battles and rough times. I remember one day at camp he showed me something that he trusted no other with. He took me to the mound behind the camp site and reached into his ripped Elvin shorts and pulled out a darkly glowing orb. He looked at me with the sternest of faces; even though his eyes were blind folded I could tell his expression by the way he bit his lip and the way his eyebrows creased under the blindfold. He spoke in his quiet, yet powerful voice; "This is the orb of the demon lord Kil'Jaden. He was my old master. He had sent me to complete an impossible quest at one point and left me to die. If it weren't for my elvish allies, I would have died, but as soon as I recovered, I bid them farewell quickly and slipped off into another dimension. This orb allows me to channel my pain through hate and expression; I can't count the times it saved me from slicing myself open with my two blades. The part I enjoy most about this orb is all the pain I channel through it goes to a select being I have in mind. I send all my pain to the Lich King, Arthas." Illidan then handed me the orb. "Please try. I can feel anger in your magical soul." I took the orb in my hand, shaking a little. I then concentrated on my pains in life and a being I detested. Ash. I would've loved to see what the motherfucker was feeling then as I poured out my drug and sexual addictions into that orb. I felt free that night, but by morning, I felt the same. Illidan was a strange being. But a very interesting one.

By the time I reached the forest, it was dusk. I quickly got off my horse and entered Kokiri forest. As I entered many Kokiris watched me agape and even Mido shut up and stopped making fun of me in seeing how powerful I had become. As I walked toward my very own home to unwind, I was stopped by Saria, who by very much surprise had grown taller. "Link!" she yelled as she threw her arms around me. I staggered back as she had grown quite bigger and more powerful. "Saria..." I started. "How have you been?" Saria looked back and said "I've been alright, and being the most powerful forest wizard has gained me much respect even out of the forest." She sighed and then tightened her grip around me saying "we had harsh partings after the deku tree battle against the Pokemon and the Animations." I remembered. We were so drunk and foolish I didn't want to remember at all. "I'd like to put that tough time behind us" I told her. She nodded in agreement. "Why don't you come to my place and we can catch up?" I said sure. After all she was my best friend.

Saria's house was the most luxurious of all the Kokiri houses around. It had a large bed, a cook pot with an enchanted fire pit and comfortable furniture. I relaxed into one of the chairs and watched her while she made a quite large pot of tea. She turned to me and asked "how are your M.T.Y.L. allies. They were enemies last time I saw them." _One of those fucking idiots still is... or wait no he's dead_ I replied "They are all doing alright... except for the skilled Pokemon trainer Ash who got killed. "I am sorry to hear." Said Saria. She then said "Link do you still remember how to play the Ocarina?" I pondered that question for a few moments and then told her "yes, I do." Saria smiled and went to her cupboard and pulled out her very own Fairy Ocarina and then The Ocarina of Time. I was very perplexed. Saria handed it to me saying "Zelda entrusted it to me after you were heading off to Mushroom lands. I wanted to keep it from you but let's just play Ocarinas together tonight, eh?" I nodded my head and said "sure I haven't played for awhile." I warmed up by blowing in and out deeply. Then I played something I was sure she'd recognize. The song she taught me in the Lost Woods that night in the Sacred Forest Meadow. She almost cried with happiness after hearing what I played. All she could say was "...you remember!" We started playing and jamming around in the key the tune was in, but always sticking to the recurring theme. Saria's ocarina solos put mine to shame, my defense being that I was out of practice. It had been a good 3 ages. But I was better than I remembered I was. We played until late that night.

Later that night the two of us lay outside looking up at the stars above. Zebes and Corneria also came into orbit view as well. Zebes was quite a brilliant planet to look at. It gleamed yellow. It was very bright in the sky. Corneria was a very blue planet. It was also quite nice. Just then Saria asked me a question. "Have you ever been off Nintendo?" I chuckled a bit and said "I've been to Venom, and I've been to the Chozo planet... ugh, I can't remember the name of it." "Tallon IV?" Saria asked. "Yeah, that's it." I said. Saria sighed. "I can never leave this forest, Link." I then realized how painful it must be to be forever confined in this area of Hyrule. "I want to break free so badly Link." I replied "I can understand, Saria." Her voice then became tenser. "I just must break free and find release in this village. I'm so much more mature than anyone else here; no one can understand the things I think." I nodded. What else could I fucking do? She was spilling her guts all over me. It's best to fucking shut up and listen. She continued "No one comprehends love. No one comprehends pain. No one comprehends what I think about. That's why you were my best friend. You were not a Kokiri and you could understand everything. Sometimes I feel like I'm not a Kokiri." She continued. I could feel there were tears swelling up in her eyes as she continued.

"He came a dark night and demanded the Deku Tree's strength and valor!" I paused and asked her who she was referring to. She looked me in the eyes. "A Demon Hunter with wings and rigged blades." I swallowed hard. Illidan. I started to feel like I had been betrayed by a good friend. Saria kept going.

"I experienced pain, true suffering, and true affection that night." I was a bit confused by the combination of feelings there. "I tried to stop him from getting to the Deku Tree. He first asked me to leave quietly, but when I challenged him to fight, he grabbed me, dropped his blades and grunted something like 'it's time I've broken one of you Kokiris'. It was awful. He tore my clothes and proceeded to rape me." I then felt a surge of anger against the man who I once felt I could relate to myself. Now I've heard he almost killed my sworn brother and that he's sexually damaged my best friend. Saria solemnly continued. "He was ruthless, unloving and full of hate. I could feel his inner hatred rammed into me. I could only admire his true feeling at the climax of it all" she finally admitted. After a long pause she finished her long story. "That's why I've grown Link. The only way us Kokiri can grow past childhood is if we partake in sexual intercourse." Wow. I had learned something new that day. Something very fucked up and something very powerful. Something I could feel Saria had to tell me. And I felt good that she did. I was still very angry at Illidan. Very angry. I then realized that I and Saria really were best friends. I would've had to be pretty close to her for her to tell me that. I'd never felt closer to anyone in my life. Except Malon of course. I had no idea what to say. Then I finally said "You getting tired?" No answer. I looked over and there Saria was, sound asleep. I picked her up, brought her into her house and tucked her into her bed. I then head out to my house and went to bed.

I woke up to the sound of rustling in the bushes behind my house. I looked out my back window to see. I couldn't see anything there. Whatever that thing was it woke me up. I got up and packed my stuff, knowing I wouldn't return to my house for awhile. I stopped by Saria's house one more time to say goodbye. As I left the forest, I felt some kind of self defeat inside. For what reason I was not sure. Now I was going to go to Lon Lon Ranch, and nothing was going to stop me.

...Or so I thought. As I was riding, three bandits came up riding beside me. One of them yelled something that sounded like "ima kill you fucka"(?). I quickly jumped off Epona who rode off to a safe point and drew my sword. The horse that was careening towards me didn't stop so I lopped off one of its legs and the bandit on it flew off. I ran up to him and got ready to attack him. I heard the bandit sware as he flipped around to attack me. I blocked it with my shield and jabbed at him. He sidestepped and attacked me. I jumped, and sliced his head off. The two other bandits came at me. I had to think quickly, so I started running. When I was far enough away, I jumped, turned around and fired an arrow in mid-air, striking the bandit and causing him to fall forward and get trampled by his own horse. The last bandit still came with much confidence, so I dodged getting hit by his horse and stabbed his horse's side. As the horse kneeled over and the bandit jumped off, he pulled out a crossbow and aimed for me. I held up my shield, but the arrow spiked me in my thigh. It throbbed with pain, but not enough that I couldn't stand. I fake kneeled over to draw the bandit closer so he would deliver the final blow. When he was close enough, I stood up and stabbed him. I then realized I was but a mile from Lon Lon Ranch. I quickly shook of my pain in my thigh and lightly bandaged it up.

I rode a bit farther until Epona, who I suppose felt some presence, neighed very loudly and stood on her hind two legs. I almost fell off her and I desperately tried to calm her down. She finally went back on all fours' but still seemed very tense for a horse. I slowly dismounted as I slowly drew my sword and looked around myself warily. Could it be another bandit with a cloaking drive? Then I heard a heavy footstep. I spun around, but saw no one so I figured it was Epona shifting her footing. Still I didn't think it sounded like her. So I rummaged through my inventory for my Lens of Truth®. I held it up to my good eye and spun around, looking for whoever was about. I swung around and did a double take on one figure- Illidan Stormrage.

Illidan must have figured I was able to see him- I was staring right at him, and even though he was blind, he had spiritual sight. Something about that blindfold I tell you... Illidan took a small gem out of his pocket and cracked it, becoming completely visible to the human eye. I could tell because I heard Epona neigh quite loudly. I removed my lens of truth and slipped it back into my inventory. I could tell Illidan's face softened as his expression drooped a bit from behind his blindfold. He then spoke. "...Link?" I was a bit confused. He didn't seem that hostile. And he must have been able to know who I was if he was fucking following me. Instead of going apeshit on him there, I stayed calm and said "It is I, Illidan." Illidan's mouth then curved into a devilish smirk. "I haven't seen you for a good long while." He bluntly stated. "In the year I had been gone from the M.T.Y.L. headquarters, I slipped into yet another alternate dimension. It was there I met a powerful man by the name of Vlad Drac. He was a powerful warlord who had complete control of Bunglia. He was also known as Mr. Bungle. Through a series of hideous tests to see if I was worthy, he sent me on a quest. I was to drain the land of Hyrule of all its strength and beauty.

At this point I still couldn't believe that Illidan would do such a thing. Still he continued his tinted tale. "If I was to complete this mission, he would grant me a strength in which I could grab anyone's mind. I could then change everything that they know into something like, say, Illidan is your true master." Illidan must have gone insane with that visit to Bunglia, or whatever. Illidan never dreamed of world domination. And why would Vlad Drac want to take out Hyrule? No one even had connections to other dimensions in the land of Hyrule. I began to wonder if I was but dreaming. It was a bit too real for that, though. I focused myself and then asked Illidan "Why must you do this to my home country? I have had word that you raised the evil Volvagia and raped my best friend, the forest girl, Saria." Illidan laughed a bit. "Ah, Link, they denied me entrance to their stronghold. The Stone Chambers and the Deku Tree were unharmed, so I must return to both after you undid both my plans in the areas. And you will not stop me! Besides, I am off to Zora's Domain. Maybe they will be more cooperative. I wouldn't want to have to hurt anyone."

At that point I drew my sword and told him "I will not let you drain Hyrule of its three points of strength. Without those three strongholds, Hyrule will whither and die!" Illidan then became very smug. "What do you care about this land? You abandoned it for Mushroom lands, I recall..." That was about all I could take. I rushed towards him with my sword drawn. He sensed my attack with his spiritual strength. He countered my attack with a swing of one of his blades. Illidan's swing was so forceful, I staggered back before I saw him gearing up for an attack on me. I held up my shield to block the blow, and whipped my sword out to block an attack with his other crescent-moon blade. He whipped each of them in and out of my area, hoping to strike home with one of them. Our strengths were but equal and neither one of us were damaging the opposition. I finally jumped up over him and tried to slice his backside. It was there and I could've. But I didn't. I couldn't hurt the man who saved my life many times. Or was it me who was preventing me to attack? I could hear Illidan laughing.

"Can't do it can you?" He spun around and sliced my gut pretty deeply- not deep enough to damage any of my organs, something more of a warning slice. He then dropped his blades, grabbed me by the neck and began to speak in a sinister slow. "You are but a weak hero. I am a true hero. I am relentless in what I must do. You couldn't even kill the man who threatened your way of life!" He paused as I gagged into his hand. He then kneed me in the stomach, brought one of his hoofs into my crotch and knocked me out with a swift jab across my face. In my last breath I could muster "I'll fucking kill you!" Illidan laughed at my remark. I was gonna kill that bastard. But in my exhaustion, I passed out and slipped into a pleasurable dream- my escape from the pain.

(chapter 5 will continue chapter 3, in result it will be quite short.)


	5. The Second Nice Dream, Short Chapter

(Nice Dream.) (The second part.)

I was there again, lying in on the floor of the Lon Lon Ranch mill. I could hear me and Malon's voices, saying short phrases of praise for each other. I slowly got up to take a better look at my surroundings. We were both sitting there, Malon on the milk crates and me on one of the hay barrels. We were just sitting there, saying stuff like "I love you" to each other. I then remember this as the time me and Malon had sex. Did I want to relive this memory? I slinked back into the corner of the mill. But after hearing Malon giggle, I was forced to look back on my past. I turned around, and there we were getting undressed and fiddling with each other's bodies. I had been pinching and squeezing her boobs, and she had been toying with my manhood. She then told me that she really wanted to have sex. I couldn't look away.

My eyes were glued to Malon. I had no idea I could remember such sweet memories while I was experiencing pain. Then I saw myself gently divide her legs as I slowly and passionately entered her. First Malon was giggling with pleasure. Then she began to scream in pain. I could remember the moment perfectly. Nevertheless, she told me keep going. I could tell she was in pain until we reached the orgasm, in which she was yelling my name at the top of her lungs. I could remember the moment being extremely pleasurable as well. I started to feel it again. I closed my eyes and began to feel myself enter Malon. When I opened my eyes again, I had taken that position in the dream, fully reliving the moment in my life. I didn't remember it being so passionate. I entered her and then left her as I looked at her beautiful face smiling. I never felt more alive. Life had not been really thrilling me at that time anyways, so even if it was but a dream, it was a dream that was better than anything I had experienced in the past 3 years of stardom. Her voice seemed so real. I could really hear her yelling my name. In fact it was real. She was yelling my name. I awoke with a jolt to not only see no one around me but Epona, I felt a bit of pain and saw a black carriage in the distance.

(Chapter 6 coming soon.)


	6. Where the Water Leads

Where the Water Leads.

I lay there awake in the grass, and I could feel pain through my waist. I tried to recap everything before I passed out. Bunglia? Vlad Drac? And Illidan. Illidan had attacked me and knocked me out purposefully. I suppose he didn't want to kill me. I guess it was for old-time's sake. Or whatever the fuck he was thinking. I was about to get up, but as I tried to flex my stomach muscles, I felt a surge of pain. I got up using my arms. I then carefully bandaged up my waist. I was pretty bandaged up at that point. I felt like the walking wounded. Technically, I was.

I slowly mounted Epona and gave her a quick whip on her side to get her moving. I tried to recap the happenings in the dream I had. That dream had only made me want Malon even more. Though I was on my way to Lon Lon Ranch I remembered hearing Illidan say that he was off to Zora's Domain to attack Zora's Fountain. I wondered if he had already attacked as I must have been laying there for some time. Nevertheless, I felt that I had to make effort to stop Illidan or at least inspect the aftermath. After all, Hyrule was in danger but I was in no shape to help it. I steered Epona in the direction of Zora's River. I rode as quickly as I could without hurting my damaged gut. As I reached the entrance to Zora's River, I got off Epona and walked in.

Zora's River was quite calm. Except of course for the hostile Octorocks and Blue Tickettes. The blue tickettes were much more powerful than their red brothers. They had harder flesh; we're sharper and more intelligent. They were still no problem to fend off as I journeyed upstream. The water I felt was considerably colder. There was a good explanation for that, though. The ice caps on Zora's Fountain and Domain must have melted, leaving very cold water to rush through the river. As I crossed the wobbling wooden bridge, I stopped after looking around the corner. There was Illidan. He obviously couldn't enter Zora's Domain as he looked threatening and had no connection with the royal family.

As quietly as I could, I drew my bow. _I have to fucking do this_ I thought to myself. I aimed for the back of his head. I pulled back the arrow and the string. I felt great regret as soon as I let the arrow fly. In a split second, Illidan spun around and deflected the arrow. Damn his supernatural senses. He looked around. I quickly hid behind the corner. I was pretty sure he could sense me and was going to look and find me, but I lost that feeling after about five minutes, he didn't come around the bend. Just then I heard his foot steps getting dangerously close. I knew using Farore's wind wouldn't get me out of it because he could see intangible things anyways. It didn't matter what form you were in around Illidan. He knew you were there. I held my breath and slowly slipped under the wooden bridge that was only about 6 feet away. I latched myself onto the bottom of the bridge and dismissed the sound of rushing water and listened for his footsteps. I heard him approach a little closer. In fact I could see him. I wondered if he knew where I was because he stood motionless at one point just looking in my general direction, but not at me. I kept holding my breath until he walked back to where he was standing before. I slipped back on top of the bridge and stood behind the fold in the wall again looking at Illidan.

I would have to try a different approach. I grabbed my magic crystal that held Din's Fire within it. I raised it above my head and subtly threw it. It landed softly by Illidan's feet. I could see Illidan sense it was getting hotter around him as the dome of fire grew. I remembered that Illidan had one great weakness- the elements. Illidan's legs were now engulfed in the flames. I could hear him scream in terror as he tried to fly up. But the dome kept growing; faster than he was flying upwards. Soon his entire body was on fire. He screamed and let himself fall into the water where his body was extinguished of flames. I could tell he wasn't dead- but was definitely put out of commission for some time. His body was swept down stream. I watched it as it slipped farther away.

I then decided that I should head down stream and finish him off. As hard as it would be to do, it had to be done. I quickly ran down Zora's River, but I knew the river flew faster than I could run. As I reached the small lake where the water from the river was deposited, I looked around the banks and shores for the demon hunter's body. I couldn't see it anywhere. Then another thought struck me. Perhaps it was carried into the royal reservoir and into Hyrule castle. That must have been what happened because his body was no where to be seen- not even at the bottom of the shallow lake. As his body would be brought through the royal purifiers, I'm sure he'd drown or get cut up and destroyed. I knew he would die, and I was thankful that the river would do it for me.

After battling my own mind with the thought of finally visiting Lon Lon Ranch, I mounted Epona, who wasn't too far off, and started riding towards the castle. I just had to know the whereabouts of Illidan before going to Lon Lon Ranch. Besides, I was procrastinating the hard moment at the same time. I rode towards the royal moat and saw where the water entered the castle. It was in a small hole underwater. I quickly looked around to see if anyone was traveling the plains at this time. When I saw no one, I quickly got undressed and changed into my Zora tunic. This allowed me to breathe as long as I wished underwater. I jumped into the water, and dove deep into the reservoir.

In the purifiers, since I was such an agile swimmer (the Zora Princess Ruto taught me) I was able to dodge all the machines that a knocked out body would unconsciously ram into. After seeing a few of the devices, I was sure Illidan was dead. Also note I swim with my arm strength only and occasionally my legs, so my stomach wound where Illidan slashed me did not throb with my body actions at all. I quickly swam through the rest of the underwater contraptions and came up for a breath of fresh air in one of the free-air chambers. As I climbed out of the water to take a break from swimming, I could've sworn I heard something dart around behind me. I turned, half expecting to see Illidan, but saw nothing. I shrugged, and climbed up out of one of the air shafts to find myself in the middle of the Bombachu Bowling Alley. I discreetly slinked out and then got out of the market place back onto the plains of Hyrule.

I found Epona not too far away from the river that flew into the castle. I quickly mounted her and felt dead set on entering Lon Lon Ranch this time. As I road off on the beaten trail to Lon Lon Ranch, I began to wonder again. Was Illidan really dead? I had to get that message encrusted into my mind that he was surely dead. There was no way he could have survived those mechanics. They would have torn his body up. Yet then I realized something else. There was no blood littering the waters. It didn't bother me in the first place because I figured that the purifiers would rid the water of any trace of blood. Then again... could they? I didn't see his body at all either. Of course with devices that work out every little problem I figured his body would be diced and torn into such small pieces, I probably wouldn't have seen him. But what about his bones...? I quickly put the thought out of my mind as it really didn't matter. He was dead. I kept telling myself that.

As I kept riding the path towards Lon Lon Ranch, I realized as it came into view in the distance, there was a good amount of smoke rising from the ranch. Was it a fire? I whipped Epona's side to make her gallop a little faster. It would only take another minute to reach the ranch. As I increased speed and rode towards the ranch I began to wonder what caused it. Illidan? No! Illidan was dead. I had to keep telling myself that.

I finally reached the entrance. I sped up the incline and around the bend that lead to Lon Lon Ranch. As I entered I looked for where the fire was coming from. It wasn't the house. I looked to my right and saw no signs of smoke from the stables. I rode past the two buildings and looked over at the mill. It was the mill. The mill was on fire.

I shook myself out of shock and grabbed my Nayru's Love crystal out of my tunic. Along the way as I rode to the mill I saw Malon's father, Talon. He saw me, and with a panicked tone in his voice he said "A flaming spark from Death Mountain came flying over and spiked the mill! It's been burning for some time and Malon already went for help. Do you have anything that can work?" I didn't answer Talon; I just rode up to the mill and got off Epona. I aimed my crystal at what looked like the heart of the fire. I threw it, but then realized the not-so-heavy crystal couldn't quite bash through the hay blocking it. I would have to go inside and climb the rafters towards the heart of the fire. My plan was that I could trap the heart of the fire in an air-tight Nayru's Love shield, therefore not giving the fire any oxygen, and in result, putting it out.

I entered the mill. It was extremely warm, almost unbearable. I quickly stripped there on the moment and put on my Goron Tunic. _That's much better_ I thought to myself. I looked up for a good vantage point. I saw a pretty thick rafter about 25 feet up. I pulled out my hookshot and aimed for the rafter. What I would have to do is latch onto the bottom and quickly lash my arms out and hold onto the top of the rafter. I let my hookshot fire as I sprang upward and in a heartbeat grabbed onto the top of the rafter. I lifted myself up and swung my legs around to help myself get up. As I started to rise on top of the rafter, I realized there was a harshly burning flame right above my head. Seeing it, I decided it was a good time to test my plan. I took the crystal and aimed at the center of the flame. While throwing it, the crystal bounced back off the flame, leaving a small crystal of a shield in its place. After about two short seconds, the flame extinguished. I half smiled and continued looking upwards. I could see the heart of the fire about 18 feet upwards. I saw another good rafter to latch onto, but it was dangerously near a large flame. I took my crystal and threw it at the flame blocking me from getting higher. The same thing happened- a good-sized air-tight crystal enveloped the flame and put it out. I ran along the rafter to grab my Nayru's Love crystal before it fell. I grabbed it, pocketed it and turned my attention to the second rafter.

I pulled out my hookshot and aimed right above the middle mark of the rafter. I fired my hookshot and it hit the perfect spot as I went flying towards an area I could easily jump off to reach the rafter. After getting on top of the rafter, I looked around to see what to do next. I was only about 9 feet away from the heart of the fire. I started to walk, but then I realized my gut was throbbing every second I was in the mill. I clutched my side, but decided I would have to put out the fire before anything else. I drained all magic within me to put it into one giant Nayru's Love crystal. After depositing at least 68g of magic into the crystal, it became considerably heavy. As I tried to lift into a throwing position I realized I was putting way too much weight on my stomach. _Fuck_ was the only word darting around my mind. It hurt extremely badly. I still lifted the crystal into throwing position and aimed at the heart of the fire. As I threw it with all my might, I felt something rip around my stomach area. "Fuck!" I screamed in sheer agony as I clutched my side. I had no idea what happened, I just knew it hurt a lot. I all of a sudden felt it become much cooler in the mill. I must have put the fire out. I felt my Nayru's Love crystal gently fall on top of me as it had grown smaller again after all the magic within was depleted. I lay there on my back on top of the rafter, feeling a lot of pain. I didn't take my hand off my side until I passed out.


	7. The Third Nice Dream, Short Chapter

(Nice Dream.) ;Another one?)

I awoke, still quite warm from the battle with heat I just went through to realize, I wasn't on top of the rafters anymore. When I couldn't feel the throbbing flesh wound in my stomach anymore, I knew I was in another one of my dreams. I looked around realized I was in the corral at Lon Lon Ranch. I looked around a little more to see Malon coming towards me. She grasped my hand as we began to slowly walk around the ranch. At times I'd look at her, and she'd look back. We'd smile at each other and then go back to looking forward and kept on walking.

The dream wasn't as tiresome and boring as I am making it sound. I enjoyed holding Malon's small, warm hand even if it was no more than faux reality. I started looking at her more often until we just stood there, hand in hand, looking at each other. Our faces closed in and we joined in our first kiss. I remember this memory much more than the other two dreams. This had happened about a month before we took our relationship to a new level.

You could say we really did love each other, so while I was in the dream another thought struck me. If I loved Malon so much, how could Misty grab my attention? I didn't bother to think as the sweet memory played itself out. Soon after our tongues unwound themselves, I was brought to another memory in my dream- a memory I instantly recognized as my last moment with Malon before leaving for the Ninwarcraft battle. I knocked on the rusty door for the quarters of Lon Lon Ranch. Malon slowly opened it. As she saw me, tears swelled in her eyes, for she knew what I was going to tell her.

I sat down in an old chair while Malon sat parallel from me and asked me if I had to go to war, over and over. I kept telling her yes, though she could tell there was great regret in my voice. After asking for the third time, she broke into tears. I slowly walked over to her and put my arms around her as she threw her arms around my back and sobbed into my shoulder. She rearranged her legs so she was on my lap, for I could tell she just wanted to feel very close to me. We sat there for about two hours- just me and her in each other's arms as we softly kissed each other now and then. I awoke before my memory took me to the most painful part- when I had to leave.

As I awoke I realized something very wrong- I was falling.


	8. Rejoined with Malon

Blurry Evenings. O Malon.

I yelled loudly, but since the fall wasn't too far, I slammed against the ground of the mill quite quickly. I lost my breath. I felt a gush of blood erupt from my wound and felt something break in my body with a loud crack. It was probably a leg muscle for I felt a great amount of pain in my left leg. I slowly raised my head and yelped "Help!" before laying my head back down in the pain. I heard the door burst open and the fluttering of small footsteps.

It was like remembering a sweet memory only about seventy times nicer. She bent down and looked at me. She was dumbfounded. She couldn't believe her eyes as she gazed at me with her mouth a jar. Tears swelled in her eyes. I felt my eyes dampen, but it was more in pain than emotion. Then I felt extremely relaxed. I had found Malon. Finally.

She came down on her knees and slowly spoke to me. "Link... Is this really you?" That was all she could say. "Yes, Malon..." I managed to slip those words out of my mouth before just letting my hands grab her and bring her face to mine as we joined in the nicest thing I had experienced since the magical night we shared in the exact same mill.

As our faces were interlocked, I slipped my tongue into her mouth. I soon realized that Malon was a passionate and sweet kisser unlike the roughness of the tom-boy Misty. Though my pain was in high measures, for that moment we shared love, I felt happier than I had ever been.

As our faces drew away from each other Malon spoke again. "I really thought I would've never seen you again..." she said teary eyed as I gently rubbed the tears away from her eyes with my hand. As I did this, she grabbed my hand and grasped it tight. "Many rumors had flown around that you were killed by a bastard Pokemon trainer. Trust me Link, I cried forever. I had never felt more drained in my entire life."

I was hardly able to speak, but when she mentioned that, the memory did come back to mind when me and Ash had fought on Damned Island before joining together to create M.T.Y.L. Ash had punched me so forcefully that he knocked me off the cliff on Damned Island. I fumbled for my hookshot, but couldn't find it. I would've died if I didn't activate Farore's wind so quickly. I went missing for many days in which that time, everybody thought I was dead. I answered "Malon, I would never die with you in mind..." It was a bit of a lie, for I knew Misty had grabbed my mind for a few moments in my life. I knew Malon definitely had me for most of my life anyways, and that's what I wanted her to think.

She looked into my eyes and just stared for awhile. She still had hold of my hand. She then brought up a more casual question. "What have you been up to for the past five years?" I let go a small laugh and felt more casual and less in pain. "Malon, honey, five years in Hyrule is about one-hundred and fifty years in Mushroom lands. But, to answer your question, I have been fighting Ganondorf and all the evil Nintendo has to offer." Malon looked happier. "You are the bravest man alive." She said while giving me another little kiss.

She hesitated for a little and a curious face spread across her. "Wasn't Ganondorf fighting for us Link?" I replied casually "That was before he and Bowser turned on our adjoined army and got together with a dark Pokemon trainer that everyone was dead. They tried to kill us... but we made it." Malon gazed upon me with wonder and adoring. She came closer to me for another kiss. Our faces joined together as we started kissing each other powerfully again. I felt all her passion through her tongue. It was an exhilarating experience. Slowly, what seemed forever, our faces drew away.

I then told her "I am in great pain... broken leg... bad wound..." that was it. I couldn't speak anymore. I was conscious, but I couldn't move or speak or anything. I was beginning to wonder if all this was just a dream. No. It couldn't have been. I then heard the door to the mill shut as I was sure Malon had gone to get help. About two minutes later (or so, I couldn't really tell) I heard Talon lumber in. He gently secured his arms around my upper chest as he lifted me up and brought me into the living quarters of Lon Lon Ranch. I felt my leg bob against the stairs as he opened up the door to Malon's room and laid me down on the bed. I heard him rummage in the drawer and then he came back to me. He opened my jaw and poured some Lon Lon Milk in. I closed my jaw shut. I felt extremely energized. Along with that, that feeling returned...

I let the Lon Lon milk just sit in my mouth for a little before swallowing it and realizing the feeling I had by drinking the milk was the same as when Malon had kissed me. I felt I had so much energy, yet I couldn't get up, because my leg was broken. I figured it was but a fracture and would heal by morning because of my star power regeneration strength. My wound felt almost completely healed as I drank the milk. I slowly slipped to sleep, expecting to feel perfect by the next morning.

I awoke slowly to see rays of sunlight in my eyes. I slowly opened my eyes to see Malon in front of me. Then remembering my injuries, I felt my stomach, which never felt better, and gave my leg a little flex to see it was fine and healed. I was completely healed. I sat up in bed and focused on Malon again. She stood there smiling at me. I smiled back and opened up my arms. She ran to the bed and jumped on me as we joined in a kiss again. I felt every part of her body on mine as we rolled in the bed in each other's arms. I was still quite tired after my wound extravaganza so only after about ten minutes of our passionate romping did I begin to fatigue. We cuddled for quite some time. Neither of us spoke as there was no need for words. Malon and I were in each other's arms again, and that was the world.

We must have fallen asleep again together because the next thing I remembered was waking up again to her warmly kissing my neck. She was still within my embrace, just on top of me this time. I felt her slowly unbutton my tunic. Realizing what she wanted to do to fulfill her love to me, I slowly got up and undressed her. We sank into each other as I asked her "are you sure you're ready to do this again?" she giggled, nodded, and we began.

She was even better than I remembered the first time. By the time we were done she was clinging to my body with all the energy she had left, panting, but never feeling more alive in her entire life. She was sweating, and I was too, making our two bodies quite damp which gave them a little more traction to stick to each other. She finally spoke. "Thank you." I smiled and tightened my grip on her. She gave a girlish little yelp and grinded closer to me. Life was worth living again.


	9. A Painful End to Danger

The Last Day of Danger. Or is it...?

I woke up with the nicest feeling. I could feel my muscles were quite tense, but it was a tense with knowing if I let my muscles relax, I'd loose something I was holding onto. A fragile, soft body was on top of mine. I slowly opened my eyes and looked down. There I saw Malon's head resting on my chest. I rubbed my hands all over her back and down to her rear end. I gave a playful little squeeze to wake her up. She slowly came to. She looked at me and smiled. She looked at me for awhile, looking like she was trying to remember what she was going to say. "Link..." she started, "Let's get married." I rocked my head back onto the wall behind the bed. She threw the covers off her and sat up next to me in bed. She pulled the covers over her legs as she wasn't clothed.

I knew what Malon suggested was a good idea. We loved each other very much, and lifestyle with her would never get boring. Malon and I could travel anywhere together and she'd never complain with how active she was. I could take her to the beautiful Flower Fields in Mushroom lands or Tallon IV. Maybe even to Aleta or the Ancient Mushroom kingdom to the ruins of Toadmourn. Though rustic and dark, it was a beautiful sight. And now that we had made a child together, I would never want to leave Malon with a bastard son or daughter. When she noticed my hesitance to reply, she looked down a little. I then replied, "Yes, Malon. Let's get married." Her eyes lit up as she threw her arms around me and straddled my lap with her legs. I lifted her up slowly and set her on the floor of her bedroom. I walked over to the drawers and slipped my tunic on. I handed her a bed gown and she quickly draped it over herself. I reached for the sash on the window and threw it open, expecting the light of a new day. It was night time though.

I looked at Malon a little puzzled. She kept smiling at me though and explained the time. "We were in bed from about 8 A.M. to about now, which is 7 P.M." I felt quite energized and after spending just about all day in bed with Malon, I really wanted to get out. "Hungry?" I asked her. She nodded and smiled again. God I fucking love her smile so much. It gives me energy. I could probably be saved from death with that smile. "Let's go out to the market then and have fun tonight." "Sounds great Link." She replied. She then got fully dressed and we set out onto Hyrule field.

Malon was a very brisk and strong walker. She kept a very quick pace, yet seemed very relaxed. She had strong legs, and that I found extremely attractive. As we walked on she brought up conversation. "My father got married again." "So I've heard from Link of the Gorons." I replied rather quickly. "Yeah..." said Malon. "He's much happier."

We kept walking on as I realized something different about Lon Lon Ranch. "What happened to Ingo?" I asked. She turned at me and I noticed her lower her head a little. After a deep swallow she answered, "Ingo left to journey to Kanto to begin cultivating the destroyed Earth that once belonged to the Pokemon." I found it a little strange that the rough Ingo would take up such charitable work, but I continued walking. I then asked "What gave him the inspiration to do that?" Malon quirked her head in my direction and said "I'm not quite sure." _Fair Enough_ I thought to myself. I always remembered Ingo as being quite a strange guy, especially when he tried to lock me into Lon Lon Ranch. I felt for her hand and grasped it. She looked at me, smiled, and squeezed my hand back. We finally reached the drawbridge, which was closed, but since we were recognized, we were let in.

After wandering around the small town, we saw a good old pub that was founded by a group of gorons. Malon and I went up to the counter, took a seat and ordered a round of Dorsalite beer. It was a beer that was brewed from the roots of the last known Dorsalite tree which had it's lodgings in a sector of the Lost Woods. It was expensive as fuck, but tonight was a time to celebrate. I decided I was getting married for fuck's sake. After about two more rounds of hard liquor, Malon looked a little drunk. I looked a little closer and realized by the shading of her skin she was drunk as fuck. She probably hadn't really done much alcohol in the past, really.

When I asked her if she was alright she replied softly by humming something that sounded something like "yeah babe..." she then went into talking about the cucco problem into today's society. _Oh fuck I got her drunk_ I thought. At least she wasn't a loud drunk. It was a good thing to know what kind of drunk your lover was.

I slowly and discreetly scooped up Malon, paid the bartender and led Malon back into the streets of the market. She was still talking in a hushed voice about the princess having orgies or something. I was basically walking for her as she was so drunk she couldn't even walk. She eventually just put her entire weight onto me and started affectionately sucking my earlobe. It was a little strange but pleasurable nonetheless.

We walked onto the filed of Hyrule and I felt Malon's warm mouth slide off my earlobe and she began to talk in which I could understand her again. "Link... will you love me forever...?" I smiled and looked at her face. "Of course Malon." She smiled and enveloped her mouth onto my neck this time. She really was drunk so I swung her fully into my arms and carried her like a baby back to Lon Lon Ranch.

I slowly opened the door to Malon's room and tried to avoid making noise. I knew if I woke up Talon he'd be real fucking mad. I led her into her bed and just tucked her in the way she was. I wouldn't bother trying to get her into bed clothes anyways. I figured she would really need some space in her state at the moment, so I set up a blanket on the floor where I wouldn't disturb her. I slowly fell asleep.

I was awoken during the night by loud footsteps on the roof of Malon's bedroom. I sat up a little further to see what the fuck was going on. First of all I looked at Malon. She was sleeping like a little angel. I felt the urge to scoop her up into my arms she looked so sweet. But then I heard the heavy footstep again. I quickly climbed onto the bed with Malon and gently shook her awake. Malon sat up in bed. Her face had become a little less red and I could tell she was no longer drunk for she looked around a little confused, then saw me and cuddled close. I could tell she was a bit frightened by the sounds of the heavy footsteps on the roof. She hugged a little closer when we heard the footstep on the roof pace right over us. Malon held her breath and squeezed me close.

In a split second, a quite large dark figure crashed through the ceiling of Malon's room and found it's stance in the middle of her room. Malon screamed and buried her face in my shoulder. I recognized who the figure was quite quickly. It was Illidan. I slowly tried to break free of Malon's death hold on me for I really needed to take a stance against him. Illidan looked very angry. His blades were half flaming and by the crease in his eyebrow, I could tell he was frowning. Malon's body was now trembling, so I secured a grip around her hip which relaxed her a bit. Illidan slowly opened his mouth and began to speak.

"Link! You really thought you could kill me by taking my body down stream into the royal reservoirs? You are a foolish man and now you shall die." My shoulder was getting damp and by that I could tell Malon was sobbing into my shoulder. I shook her into sense and she released her loving grip on me. I slowly got out of bed and reached for my hammer as it was the nearest weapon. As I grabbed the hammer, I swung it right at him.

Since it had happened so quickly, Illidan wasn't expecting it. I felt the powerful hammer go THUMP against his chest. I heard Illidan stagger back and trip. In the time he was recovering from such a blow, I grabbed my shield and got it in defensive position. I then grabbed the master sword and threw it to Malon. She had been watching me so she grabbed the sword out of mid air and got into her sword fighting stance. I had taught her everything I knew a few years before the Ninwarcraft battles. Illidan realized that he was in trouble with two well-trained fighter facing him. Still, he held his ground.

"Hyrule will fall under my great strength... and you two are the only two blocking me!" He yelled with extreme strength in his voice. I then ran in to whack him again with my hammer. Malon took the queue to attack as well. Illidan raised one blade to strike against my hammer and the other blade to counterattack Malon's swing. Malon staggered back as I held my ground and swung again. This time Illidan jumped and kicked me in the stomach with one of his heavy hooves. I choked up and staggered back, but was still able to go in and attack again. Malon kept swinging, even though she was missing quite a bit and Illidan's second blade kept her more than busy. Malon didn't get tired though. She was pretty powerful for a girl her size.

I finally managed to smack Illidan upside his cheek with the hammer again. At the blow he went reeling back in the air. He landed heavily on the floor of Malon's room. He slowly got up and spoke. "You have no chance of killing me Link." I laughed a little as he was being double teamed and beat up pretty badly. In a split second, he whipped the flat sides of his blades around, smacking me upside the head, and scratching up Malon's arms pretty badly. We both staggered back, and in that moment, he grabbed Malon and threw himself out of the window, with Malon in front to take the damage from flying through glass. I heard her scream in pain, much unlike the time she screamed during our intercourse- there was great fear in her scream.

I quickly braced myself for the fall and jumped out of the window to follow Illidan and Malon. I landed heavily and saw Malon desperately swinging the master sword at Illidan. She looked pretty fucked up. She was bleeding badly and crying in pain. Nevertheless she kept battling. I couldn't stand seeing her like this. I came up behind Illidan and swung my hammer into his back. He brought one of his blades behind his back to take that swing while blocking Malon's current swing with the other blade. I found the situation to be frustrating.

I continued to wait for a good time to take a swing at Illidan, but that moment seemed rarer with every swing I took. I could tell Malon was searing from every limb. I finally kicked Illidan in the crotch, something he definitely wasn't expecting. His swing stopped in mid air as he paused for a second. I took that second to whack him pretty hard with my hammer. Illidan staggered back and was almost stunned. Malon then swung her sword right across his stomach. Illidan then screamed with pain and dropped his blades. After Malon's swing, I warmed up for the most powerful hammer blow I had taken for some time.

I aimed for the weak spot in Illidan's spine. I told Malon to stand back and I took an immense swing at Illidan's back. I hit him so forcefully that he went flying through the air onto the dusted ground of Lon Lon Ranch and the end of his spine ripped through the skin on his chest. Illidan was dead and Hyrule was saved. I still couldn't believe I had killed who was once my best friend. I dropped my hammer and went over to his body. I whispered softly "May we meet again in the 4th age." I then lifted the Demon Hunter's body. I gave Malon a soft and passionate kiss and told her I would be back by morning. I then left Lon Lon Ranch.

I slowly walked across the field often looking down on Illidan's corpse. I knew the star lord will do good things with such a stealthy and powerful being. I cursed this Vlad Drac being. Damn him to hell! Why corrupt such a powerful and great man? In the end I could only blame Illidan for stumbling into Bunglia. I hoped there would no longer be any others from there. I never did find out why Vlad Drac wanted to destroy Hyrule, but I figured just to let it be. Hyrule was a peace loving country and in result it had become peaceful again. I had a great feeling I had not seen the last of Illidan. Just when I would see him again, he would not be my enemy.

I walked up the footsteps to Kakariko village and walked through the town to the graveyard in the back of the town. I grabbed a random shovel in the grave keeper's hut and started to dig a hole right there in the entrance walkway to the graveyard. I didn't stop digging it until it was fairly deep and wide. I then placed Illidan's dead body, along with his blades into the hole. I had begun to prepare to fill the hole again until I thought of something and I stopped.

I reached down into Illidan's ripped elven shorts and pulled out an object that felt round. I slowly lifted my hand out of his shorts pocket to find the orb of the demon lord Kil'Jaden. I looked into it and spilled all of my sorrow of killing my dear friend Illidan into it. I channeled it all into whoever this Vlad Drac being was. I finished filling the hole and left without creating a grave marker. It would be best to leave it that way anyways. I pocketed the orb of Kil'Jaden before leaving. I kept channeling more anger and problems into the orb before finally just leaving Kakariko village. I was worn out for the night.

I stumbled into Lon Lon Ranch and up the stairs into Malon's room. I took off my shoes and tunic and slowly got into bed as not to disturb the sleeping Malon. I took her body into my arms and held it close to mine as I fell asleep.


	10. The Luckiest Man Alive

Luckiest man alive I am?

I awoke by the sun on Lon Lon Ranch. I was alone in the bed but I could smell the reason for that. There was a hearty breakfast cooking up downstairs. I felt much better for now I had spilled all my feelings of grief into the orb of Kil'Jaden. In fact, I felt like the luckiest man alive. I got out of bed and threw my cleaned tunic over my underclothes. I head down the stairs and threw my arms around Malon's waist who yelped a little in surprise. After giving her a kiss I asked her "when do you want to get married?"

She smiled and said "hmmm... I don't know..." with a slight amount of fun in her voice. "How about in a week? It doesn't have to be a big thing. We will be together, and that's all that matters, right?" She looked back on me and smiled again. "Sure!" I could tell she wasn't kidding at all. She placed breakfast in front of me. I dug in, believing I was the luckiest man in the world.

I spent the next couple days traveling around Hyrule, giving invitations to my greatest friends in the land, and just re-exploring the great land of Hyrule. I even fell asleep on the floor of Darunia's room one night. Malon wasn't too happy about that... but she got over things pretty quickly. I also traveled to Zora's Domain for the first time in my trip. Princess Ruto had since become one of my best friends- she knew we weren't going to get married. Still, she looked a little down when I gave her and the King Zora their invitations. Unfortunately, Saria was the only Kokiri that could attend the wedding for she was a sage and could travel the lands at ease.

We never really prepared much for the wedding- even the day before the wedding, Malon and I were just working around the Ranch and talking casually. We were really meant for each other as we got along so well. It was that night as we were laying in bed after a wild romping that I started telling her about traveling. "You know, Malon, I really want to make Hyrule our home." She nodded in agreement, while twisting her hair around her fingers. I then went on "How would you like to travel to Mushroom Lands? Or even Termania? Or how about off Nintendo to Motos or Tallon IV?"

She turned to look at me. She then swung on arm around my back and placed her other hand on my bare chest. She smiled and replied "Link, I always had dreams to travel, but being grounded on the farm has discouraged me quite a bit. Link I would love to travel- take me away on our honeymoon to your favorite place in the world." I smiled. I had the perfect place in mind.

The day of the wedding went well- we had fun, spoke with our friends, and kissed for the first time as officially husband and wife. That night we relaxed for the first night in awhile. When Malon fell asleep, I contacted Mario through my Exatoriatum which was given to me by Toad. I told him to prepare a boat to take me and a guest to a certain place from Zora's fountain. I then packed me and Malon's bags and climbed into bed and fell asleep.

"Where are heading to?" Malon asked me eagerly. "Hold on babe, you'll see soon enough." I replied. The boat was moving pretty quickly. In about 4 hours, we arrived in the blackened bay of the Ancient Mushroom kingdom. Of course Malon had no idea so when we got off the boat in the foggy land she looked a little confused. I took her by the hand and mounted Epona and lifted her up behind me. We rode about five miles to a lowering in the ground. We demounted Epona and hiked downwards in the ground. We stopped at a clearing. We were in the rustic ruins of Toadmourn. She looked at the sight. "Oh, Link... It's so beautiful..." I smiled and took her hand. "It reminds me of what Hyrule looked like 7 years ago."

Of course she wouldn't remember for Princess Zelda reset the time after I had trapped Ganondorf in the sacred realm. "It looks vaguely familiar Link..." she said after some time. She leaned against my body and I kissed her. As I looked out onto the beautiful ruins, I really did believe I was the luckiest man alive. I was a hero, experienced great emotion, I had friends, and, I had Malon. And that was the most important thing to me.

(The End)

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Illidan brushed the dirt off his shoulders. He stepped away from the thick air around him. This wasn't the night elf after life. He was in Star Haven. And he was happy. He slowly spoke:

Give me One More Chance,

I am born again.

Author's FUCKING note:

Wow what the fuck dude that didn't feel like it took that much fucking time at all. I mean I just replayed Ocarina of Time and I was like 'Fuck dude I should write a fucking story!" So under the pen name of the Flaming Lip's front man, I wrote this fucking story dudes! Hope you liked it and the last line that Illidan speaks a message I've heard repeated in my head many times in about every dream I've ever had. Pretty creepy, but I likes getting it onto paper. Major fucking props to Radiohead. Their music is so influential and eerie that it took me the extra mile on this story. Thanks to India Weasley Took who gave me all my romance tips and it's been a fucking blast writing this.

Rock the fuck on guys.


End file.
